chardismastic | t f l n o v e r f l o w.

okay but you gotta admit reading something in a dead language is pretty impressive wow. i don't know what's sadder the fact that you go to a hotel or the fact that they have a room available whenever you ask for one well more for me then ;-) are you serious it was one cigarette and i didn't even finish it

you've got your skill set i won't deny that

how is that sad it's a hotel the whole point is for there to be a room when i want one
oh no let me cry at my clear and evident loss ;(

it was the one cigarette that i've caught you with and even that was one too many

holy shit i'm getting that text framed how often do you have to go to that hotel that they actually have a room waiting for you? you want me to call someone to go to your room to help you feel better? jesus, what is this, a military base?

you've got enough ego without me helping it along

sam
it's less a question of frequency and more a question of owning the hotel

there are like three rules get over yourself

too late i'm hanging it over my bed are you serious? you own the hotel?? i mean i guess it makes sense but jesus christ you gonna tell me you own your island too? okay there are not three rules there are like fifty commandments here

presuming you remember how to work the printer

don't be ridiculous
a hotel is a good investment. what kind of return are you supposed to get from an island?

what fifty commandments
don't smoke inside, clean up after yourself, put shit back where you found it when you're finished with it
common sense man

who says i'm doing the printing? i'm taking it to one of those professional photo shop places uh how about the return of bragging about owning an island??? take off your shoes when you enter, hang up your jacket, keep the toilet seat down, i mean they were more lenient in prison jesus

probably not the weirdest thing they've ever had to do at a kinko's

if i bragged about that shit i wouldn't have time to blink before you started in on the jokes

all those things fall under the umbrellas of cleaning up after yourself and putting shit back where you found it

i'm going to make copies and distribute it too are you kidding me we could be on a private island right now why would i joke about that yeah so when you break down each of those categories you get the fifty commandments

to whom exactly everybody still thinks you're dead

i can think of at least four bond villain jokes off the top of my head never mind the rich bitch angle
yeah i've heard what the shoreline guys have been saying i'm not fucking stupid

well yes when you come up with the fifty different scenarios an umbrella still applies to but that's just you being difficult

i don't know i got some pretty good connections. pretty sure evidence of a rafe adler compliment could get me a ton of money if i sold it to the right people wow. i'm impressed. i only managed to think of five i gotta step up my game. pretty sure that still counts though

nobody will believe you

or you could not and let the private island thing go

pretty sure no
is it really that much of a hassle to put the seat down after you use the head

hence the copies of the text? i'm just saying you're missing a big opportunity here is it really that big of a deal? you just have to lift it next time it saves time

photoshop

i suppose technically i own most of the island where the cathedral is
that counts i like that island

it's the principle of the thing

rafe i'm going to kinko's to print something do you really think they'd believe i can do photoshop or whatever? i was thinking something a little more tropical you know, sipping daiquiris by the beach, being served by women in nothing but hula skirts? that kind of thing the principle of the thing really? it's a toilet you use it to shit and pee in

all right ms paint in your case
anyway it's a simple program and people don't know how tech illiterate you are just from looking at you
...probably

well when you buy your own island you can set it up however you want

the principle of keeping a house in order jackass

what the hell is ms paint going to build my own pirate colony what are you, a french maid? come on rafe break a few rules so you leave the seat up once in a while, no one's going to judge.

something more in line with your abilities

plenty of parrots i assume

tell me precisely what's wrong with wanting my house clean
give me one good reason why this is a bad thing to want

i feel like i should be insulted well i mean if the island has parrots sure i'm not gonna kick them out. just as long as there's a steady flow of rum and money and girls you can still keep it clean with the seat up it's just a different aesthetic

guess you'll never know will you

and just who will manage this steady flow while you debauch in the lap of luxury

christ fine you want to leave it up go ahead and leave it up
you'll regret it but whatever

if i haven't needed it so far there's no point in learning it now, right? well i just happen to know a guy who's got some experience running his own business holy shit are you serious did i just win that? why would i regret it but thank you i'm proud of you i feel like we're making some progress here

that's a bold philosophy but sure go ahead

and what would this guy be getting out of running samuel drake's pirate paradise llc

just call it a hunch
it's not progress it's me getting tired of arguing with an idiot

[ When you stumble into the bathroom in the middle of the night for a dump and go ass-end into the bowl, Rafe will wake up with an I told you so. ]

well pretty sure none of those pirates were relying on ms paint to hide their things so oh you know. housing, his own couple barrels of rum, the occasional lost pirate treasure...the usual sounds like someone's a little upset he lost [never gonna happen totally gonna happen]

if you're gonna go that route i don't think pirates were relying on a lot of things
like readily manufactured cigarettes or hot showers

seems like this guy could have most of that on his own without whatever you're bringing to the table

this isn't a loss this is me waiting

[ Rafe wishes he could document the moment but that crosses a line from smug to sleazy. ]

yeah but that's different i'm talking technical things here oh really? cause last i checked this guy was still lacking some of that pirate treasure well hope you're comfortable cause you're gonna be waiting for a long time

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